The Church Isn't Perfect

I grew up loving the Church.  It was easy.  Until it wasn’t.

Today, it's not always easy.

I signed up for it.  I was called to it.  I was told that it wouldn't be always be easy. But that doesn’t mean I was actually prepared for it.

My heart has been hurt by her members.  I have been left confused and utterly dumbfounded by the choices that some of these supposed evangelicals make.

Church should be a safe place: a place of refuge, comfort, and healing.  It shouldn't be the place we dread going.  We shouldn't beg the Lord for a reason not meet with the local body.

We have these expectations of perfection for her.  We have this idea that all the extremities of this body of Christ should be healthy and in tact.  Shouldn't they know what is expected?  Don't they know how to behave?  However, much like marriage, we are not perfect.  We can't enter into this relationship expecting perfection when we ourselves fall so short sometimes.  We're just one big ol' mess getting together.  We must extend grace...

This Church should be a place where there should be safety to work out our salvation and ask questions.  We are all just working out our salvation with fear and trembling.  

Sometimes, when you're in ministry, especially in a leadership position, it hurts.  Your heart breaks for those you minister to, sure, but the people of the church can hurt each other in one quick minute.  Biting words, selfishness, pride, lack of respect, impatience, feeling like they are there to be served rather than to serve. It hurts some days when you hear people being encouraged to step in to a teaching role.  The people around you are getting excited, yet they just staged what feels like a hostile takeover,  They are celebrating an exercising of gifts, yet when you step into that role - that you are sure the Lord has called you to - they turn and run.  There's backbiting, gossip, and hate.  It seems like it's ok as long as you're not the one delivering the message.  Is it even really my call, you wonder.  Then you remember whose you are, and you rest in that even though it may be a constant fight. It's easy to want to retreat.  To not show up to fulfill your responsibilities.  But the truth is, we can't do that.  Our duty is to the King.  We are serving him and his kingdom purposes, not our own.  Sometimes walking into church on Sunday morning means getting through it on a prayer and few words for fear of what may escape the open grave of our mouths.  There are times, honestly, when the last place you want to be is sitting in that pew.  Sure, you want to be in the presence of Jesus because that is only thing that heals and sustains, but not church.  Not today.