The Qualifier to Get Rid Of

In March of 2022 and then again in November of the same year, I found myself in a cozy barn with a small group of women. I was among the few who were selected for the opportunity to be mentored by an incredible author and Bible-teacher. I was in awe that I had this chance to be this close to a woman I looked up to from afar, but when I looked at the women that surrounded me, the questions began to swirl, “What am I even doing here? How did I get a seat at this table?” I began arguing with myself about the worthiness of my being in that room with those women.

Then came the introductions. I sat in awe of the experiences and the qualifications I was hearing. Each woman had so much expertise on everything from motherhood to ministry to business. This only confirmed in my mind that there had to be some mistake I was there.

When it was my turn, I meekly said, “I’m just a teacher. I have only written one book. I’m just serving my church in the kids’ check-in, and we attend our small group. My kids are just 18 months and 3 and a half. A boy and a girl that keep us on our toes.”

I proceeded cautiously because it seemed like I couldn’t measure up. If these women were evaluating me, I certainly wouldn’t measure up.

And then I paused. Something inside me broke, and out fell the words before I could I catch them. “Honestly, I look around here and I don’t even know what I’m doing in this room with y’all. You women are incredible.” To my surprise, every other head nodded in agreement.

Our mentor looked at us with a sparkle in her eyes and smiled. “You might not know why you’re here, but God does. And I do.” We collectively exhaled a sigh of relief. We, subconsciously, had spent the past two hours playing the comparison game, thinking we had to measure up to other women.

It’s that qualifier that gets me: JUST.

It’s 4-letter word that diminishes who we are, who God has made us to be, our gifts, our talents, our abilities, and the knowledge we’ve earned throughout our lives. That little word has become a sort of caveat to our identity.

While we can use the qualifier of “just” to communicate humility, not sound too proud of the things we accomplish, it has been my experience that this word weasels its way out of our mouths when we find ourselves in a room full of people we feel work harder, have more qualifications or seem to have accomplished more. We find ourselves wrestling with our identities.

Truthfully, the enemy loves nothing more than for us to see ourselves as less than. One of the best tricks he has in his pocket is encouraging self-doubt and being sure to keep us from seeing ourselves as who God calls us to be. But you aren’t “just” anything. You were created on purpose for a purpose, and you have something to offer as you show up wholly as yourself in the Kingdom of God.

As women, we’ve been told for years that we need to diminish ourselves. This is astounding in American culture - one of the few societies that even recognizes women have a social station, that they are in fact fully human. Still, the idea is perpetuated that a woman’s place is in the kitchen, to be arm candy, and - especially in Evangelical circles - their highest calling is to be a wife and a mother. While it may be true that a woman enjoys cooking or getting dressed up, she isn’t just an accessory.

A woman is a reflection of God: brilliant, bold, kind, strong, and intentional.

She nurtures. She works hard. She creates. She thinks. She uses her time well. She stewards what she is given. She is responsible. She cares.

She, too, was created in the image of God like the Bible says in Genesis 1:27. God created us each uniquely, to bear various aspects of who He is, but He did not create us as lesser versions of anyone. We bear the image of our Creator. This tells us that we were created with great intentionality.

If that’s true, then we can throw the qualifier “just” out the window. No aspect of who God is should be diminished, and because we showcase God’s image to the world, we should not be diminished nor should we diminish ourselves.

God has given us something to offer the world through our gifts, talents, thoughts, and dreams. He chose us for specific times and places where we can steward all that He has put in us. If we know who we are and whose we are, we can boldly move forward, not dreading telling others about who we are or what we do.

Because of God we have the freedom to walk confidently in who God says we are, even when we find ourselves in situations that make no sense on paper. We can write that on our hearts.

And while we’re at it, let’s get rid of any qualifier that doesn’t indicate our identity as not only an image bearer, but a child of God.