A Battle To Get To Oceans
Are you familiar with the song "Oceans" by Hillsong? The favorite part of that song, generally, seems to be the bridge. It's a beautiful cry of the heart.
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
The trick with that is that usually, as we belt these lyrics, our hearts don't mean it yet. They probably want to mean it. The heart of the worshipper more than likely wants to mean that they want to trust God with everything and go wherever - no exceptions - so that their faith may be made stronger. But the problem is that often we get caught up in trying to do it on our own, and much like Peter walking on the water, take our focus of Jesus and our feet fail and we sink.
I so often want this to by the cry of my heart. I've sang it many times and really meant it, but a couple weeks down the road I decided it was too hard and tried to take back my surrender. I wasn't allowing myself to be led where my trust was without borders. So God decided to change some things. He called me out and began working me, even though I was kicking and screaming to the place my trust was without borders.
During that time I've learned some things. Not all of them are easy things to learn, but they have granted me more freedom in Christ. I've been learning that God calls us to trust him. (I can see you sitting behind your screen, rolling your eyes, thinking "duh.") He called us to give our lives to him and let him do the leading because he sees the whole picture. This is evidenced in Isaiah 55:8-9 when God is telling us that he doesn't think or act like we do and that his ways are better. He thinks long term and acts in the benefit of those he loves and are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). All he is asking of his children is that they obey him. He tells us that if we love him, we will keep his commandments (that translates to obedience). When we obey, we see him act on our behalf. We have to take the action and act like we believe what we preach and leave the results up to God. He will take care of it. His word says that if he started it, he will finish it in Philippians 1:6. We have to believe what he says.
That's another thing. I believe in God, but often I forget to believe what he said. I forget to believe him. I trusted in him to be my salvation, but sometimes, that's as far as it goes. Here's that logic: I can trust God to save me, but I can't trust him with my life. I can't trust him to lead me to the correct decisions or to work on behalf. Explain to me how that makes any sense. It doesn't! If God can save me, he can certainly lead me well. Of anyone, he has my best interest at heart. For goodness sakes, he gave his son so that he could save me! If that is the case, I can believe his promises to be true in my life. God is who he says he is, and he has always been faithful and true to his word. Why would he start backing off now? Well, he wouldn't. In James 1:16 we are told that God has no variation due to change. He is constant.
With those things in mind, he is worthy to be trusted with my life...every single part of it. He is for me! I can believe the promises that he gave his children and I can know that he will continue to keep them because he is constant. That allows me, if I am willing to release my control, to trust him without reservation.
The biggest obstacle is me. He is calling me to trust him, and I nearly refuse. As a type A personality, I like to be in control and know what is going on. I want to be able to plan for the future. It gives me a sense of comfort, and God knows that. He is the one that programmed me that way, but he also called me to trust him. He is sanctifying me in this way. He wants me to be more like him as he teaches me to continuously believe him and trust him. That's part of being made more like Christ.
ut to be really honest, I feel like that's all I'm doing lately. Every time I turn around, God says, "Trust me." And I'm tired of being sanctified in that way. I want to have this part down already and move on to new things. But it's obviously still an issue as I constantly ask God what is he doing and why isn't he doing it in my timing. Here's why: he knows me too well to quit stretching my trust yet. I realized this the other day as I was sharing my heart with my husband. He said to me, "Do you think that God knows us?" And I kind of stared at him for a second before I got that he was serious and wanted an answer. So I said, "Yes." My husband is so wise. He has to engage my mind sometimes before I will listen. Then, he continued, "Do you think he knows that if he told us what he had for us that we wouldn't trust him as much?" My soul wanted to get all riled up and say no, but I paused and got really honest with myself. "Probably he does."
For the better part of a year, God has been telling us to trust him, and I got to this point and wanted to quit. I wanted to have the answers. And my husband was gracious enough to point out that God has orchestrated it that way for a reason. Not only does he call us to trust him for the moment, but he calls us to do it continually. He wants us to keep on being transformed to be more like him, and that means continuing to be sanctified.
t's a battle to get to the oceans, but I'm getting to the point where my heart will mean those lyrics every time I sing them. I want to be so in love with Jesus that I trust him even when it doesn't make sense and I cling to his promises because I know they are the only things that will sustain me. I've still got a ways to go, but I know that in a while I will have no borders on my trust and I will not be led kicking and screaming. I will be a bit more submissive to the leading. And in the end, my faith will be made stronger than I can even fathom.
