Just A Conversation

I've been staring at this blank computer screen for about 30 minutes.  I'll type a few words, decide I don't like where this is heading, delete it all, stare for a few minutes, and begin again.  Still, nothing seems to come together.  

This is usually where the lies of the enemy come in and tell me that I'm no equipped.  I've chosen to something that is utterly out of my zone of expertise.  I'm not good enough.  It doesn't matter if I can get a few words on a page, nobody will pay attention and care anyway.

But I've decided to quit believing those lies.  See, I've checked my heart and my mind, and there are words to say, valuable thoughts to be shared, and God is at work in the midst of them.  And one thing I know for certain is that God cannot be stopped. 

At this exact moment, though, I can't seem to form more than one cohesive thought at a time on all these things stirring in my heart.  And even if I could string the few thoughts together, they would be disjointed.  God is still planting, moving, molding, formulating.  I'm still listening, processing, learning.  Because of that, I'm at a bit of a loss for words today.  

I'm resting in the work that God is doing rather than work that I'm doing.  I'm letting him build my blogs with his messages, not mine.  I've decided that the real work only gets done when I die to myself and let God be God.

In light of this, I've made a few decisions regarding how I'm moving forward, even just this week.

 I've decided I'm going to quit doing things and saying them I'm doing them in the name of Jesus, when in reality, I'm doing it because it's what I want.  I'm going to quit doing things for God, and I'm going to start doing things with God.  When I do the things with him, I will be right where he needs me; I will know him more.  

I'm going to quit pushing and striving to accomplish a to-do list, and rest in the fact that God has different plans some days and some things just simply don't get done.  Sometimes, God simply needs me to take the time to sit and talk with someone, let them cry, help them laugh, spend time outside of a house, or go on a walk with them rather than doing the dishes or vacuuming.  I think Jesus is less concerned about the condition of our house than he is about the condition of our hearts.

I'm going to take time to rest and be present.  My life isn't about doing all the things or having all the friends that live in my phone.  My life is about glorifying God and serving his people well.  My life is about obedience and taking time to see God at work.

So, I'm going to let myself off the hook today.  It's ok that I don't have all the profound,Biblical insight that I would like.  Maybe today I just needed to have a conversation.